Finding my way back
To My Long Lost Self
Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of. It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again, but stronger than ever.
I'm on some new medication temporarily and they leave me so incredibly tired.
No I don't want to talk about the meds. I want to talk about how tired I am.
So so soooooo incredibly tired. Like the kind of tired when you're a new Mum, you've been up for like three days, there are Cheerios stuck in your hair and you can't remember when you last changed your pants kind of tired.
So of course I tried to power through the first few days like the workaholic I am. That lasted all of two days before my body just hit a wall.
Reality stepped in (can 2017 just be called my GIANT reality check now, and save me from an overload of lessons for the rest of the year please? sheesh) and by reality I mean my husband. He helped me see that maybe it was time to scale back. Big time. He's got a knack for putting people in their place. Love you, babe!
So I do a lot. I know I know, you do a lot too. But I wear many hats. The obvious family roles, but I also work really hard at my online businesses, am the PAC President at our local elementary school (where I also run an after-school gardening club twice a week) and shuttle my kids around to their weekly sports activities and paper route; sidebar; who still reads a newspaper anyways?
This keeps me pretty busy, but throw in our ridiculous wheat allergy and shit.gets.REAL.
I love cooking, trying new recipes, having the littles scream in my face in defiance they will not be ingesting 'that' only to come 'round to love it. But the food aspect is one area where I let fall to the wayside the last couple months. Dad's cooking leaves something to be desired to put it kindly, and it was over (another) breakfast-for-dinner meal that I realized somethings had to give.
Luckily school is winding down soon and it didn't take much to convince the kids to set aside their paper route and some of their extra curricular's for the summer. After much consideration, I scaled back on work and decided to 'take the summer off' to focus on three things: Cook, Read & be as fun a Mum I can.
Isn't it funny how when you let something go, if it's meant to be it'll come back to you? I read that once on a coffee mug I stole out of an abandoned ship (Whoa, I sound way cooler than I really am IRL, BTW) and it's always stuck with me. For a long time I thought it pertained only to love and relationships, but wouldn't you know it, applied to my work/life balance just the other day.
I love the work that I do. I mostly now focus on helping people reach their health and wellness goals, but also take on consulting non-profits and small businesses regarding their online presence. After deciding to 'take the summer off' and letting go of some work commitments, clients and restructuring my network marketing business to a totally passive outreach method, I settled into a new routine pretty quick. My passive outreach method (and not really giving a flying eff) translated into "Everyone wants to work with me!" and a fully booked summer.
Again, luckily most of my work is done at my own pace, and I'm pretty chill these days. Thanks meds.
So as I'm (not) busy finding my way back, I've picked back up my love for reading. I actually read three books this week and can't help but feel like I'm compelled to keep reading at this rate until something. It's that something that's gnawing on me. I don't know what it is, maybe I'll know it when I read it, but I'm feverishly reading and trying to work on my own writing at the same time.
I just can't stop, can I?
I swear, I'll try.
In the mean time I'm dedicating myself back to my love letters, both online and off. For this, I know I can't screw up.